remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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