Your tits are I can't wait for
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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