Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
