perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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