i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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