Dual....:-)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
