Did you just see the Batmobile???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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