Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
