using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
