Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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