when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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