Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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