You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Houston, we have a blender
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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