You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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