im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
