I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you win again, gameday.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
