and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
