so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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