What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
