Are we in a gay sports bar?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
