On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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