Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
