we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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