We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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