so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
