My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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