connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
