I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
