nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
