i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
