It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
