we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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