we have officially lost it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
