I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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