Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
