what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
