So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
