Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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