Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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