its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
