In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
