They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
