just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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