Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
