New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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