I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
soo... how was my night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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