Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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