WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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