Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
