Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
